To be Seen, Heard, and Safe is to be Known!

By David Bolt, Founder of TenXed

A True Story: The Nurse Who Was Finally Seen

In 2020, as COVID-19 swept through the UK, a photograph of nurse Rachel Caines broke through the noise.

Slumped on a cold hospital bench, bruises lining her face from hours of tight PPE, she looked utterly spent. Nine hours into her shift. Two weeks without hugging her children.

She hadn’t been thanked. She hadn’t been asked how she was. She hadn’t even been called by name that day.

But everything changed when a fellow nurse shared that photo with the caption:

“This is Rachel. She’s a hero. But more than that—she’s a human being.”

That single post opened the floodgates. Letters arrived. Packages showed up. An artist painted her portrait.

But what meant most to Rachel?

“That moment reminded me I wasn’t just a machine. I’m a person. And I matter.”

When someone is truly seen—not just for what they do, but for who they are—it has the power to restore them.

The Big Idea: KNOWN

We all crave it—deep down. Not to be liked, not even to be praised. But to be known.

To be seen without performing.

To be heard without shouting.

To be valued without needing to prove anything.

In leadership, parenting, ministry, or service—people lose themselves in being unknown.

But we can change that.

The TenXed framework: K.N.O.W.N.

K – Know Thyself First

You cannot see others clearly if you don’t first see yourself. Many leaders operate from insecurity or over-identification with their role. Step one is knowing your worth aside from your performance. Your true Identity fuels healthy leadership.

N – Name the Truth

When someone’s lost themselves in the doing, name what’s real:

“I see you.”

“You’re holding too much.”

“You bring something irreplaceable.”

If they are drifting help them “drop the anchor” .

O – Offer Safety, Not Scrutiny

To be known requires vulnerability. And vulnerability only grows in safe soil. Ask yourself—are people bracing when they’re around you? Or breathing? Be the kind of leader who can receive the raw stuff without reacting.

W – Witness Their Whole Self

Don’t reduce people to their role, their pain, or their past. Every person has layers. Gifts. Wounds. Wonder. When you reflect all of who they are, you help restore their identity. Be a mirror that tells the truth.

N – Never Reduce Anyone to “Just”

Just a mum.

Just a cleaner.

Just a volunteer.

Every time we prefix someone’s identity with “just,” we agree with a lie. People are never “just” anything. They’re image-bearers. They’re stories in motion. They are, sacred.

From Dave’s Desk

To be unseen and unheard is to be unknown.

And to be unknown is to be utterly alone.

But when someone is truly seen—not for what they do, but for who they are—it doesn’t change them -- It reveals them.

We strive to see the mission-driven leaders we serve through the lens of heaven.

If you could glimpse how God sees you—how they speak of you in the courts of heaven.

It would strip away the fear, the shame, the false identities. It would awaken the truest version of you—the one made in the image of love itself.

You were never meant to lead from loneliness.

Not meant to serve until you disappeared.

Not meant to survive unseen.

You were made to be known.

And more than that—beloved.

As the ancient words declare:

“I am my beloved’s, and He is mine.”

From alone

to known

to beloved—

this is the journey we call others into.

Not by strategy, but by seeing.

Not by fixing, but by naming what’s already there.

So lift your eyes.

Look again.

And help someone remember who they are.

Dave Bolt

Live. Love. Create.

www.TenXed.Community