Most charities measure what the cause needs. Very few measure what it costs the person leading it. TenXed has been built around that gap.
Where TenXed came from
I grew up in a small business home. At his peak my dad had a company of 25 or 30 people doing CCTV and surveillance for mine sites and Main Roads. He often worked from an office at home, so he wasn’t always available, but he was present. My brother and I both ended up running our own businesses. It hasn’t always been the sensible path, but it’s in our DNA.
As a kid all I wanted to do was draw cartoons and preach. The pastor pathway never opened up, and looking back, it wasn’t the right fit. Instead I found myself working alongside people in generational poverty, through chaplaincy, schools and community services. I spent years on the ground and on the board at Crossways Community Services, watching good leaders do great work. I also saw what that work takes out of a person.
TenXed brings together everything I’ve picked up along the way: sales and business from years in new home sales, people skills from chaplaincy and schools, and creative work from writing and illustrating books with authors. The aim is to multiply the mission. The cornerstone of that is protecting the leader.
Why the leader?
Because the ultimate disaster for a charity is the leader crumbling under the cause.
I live with bipolar type 1. I know the fight for life is real, and I’ve lost friends. I’ve seen what suicide in leadership does to a family and a community. I don’t ever want to see that happen on my watch.
So my question with every client is simple: what can I strip away from this leader so they can focus on what they’re called to do? I take the technology, the creative work and the mechanical load. That keeps them from being dragged back into being an operator when they should be an influencer.
One founder I’m working with told me recently she felt real relief that the mechanical side had been taken off her, so she could get back to her ministry, her writing and the women she serves. That’s the whole point.
Where does the cause end and the person begin?
My work is shaped by Isaiah 61, the passage Jesus read out as his job description: release for captives, sight for the blind, freedom for the oppressed. It’s a great cause. But what enabled him was the Spirit, and I think the fruit of the Spirit is a good check on whether you’re working beyond your capacity.
We should stretch. Patience and endurance are part of that list. But they sit alongside love, joy, peace and self-control. When those go missing, when you don’t feel peace and you’re losing your grip, that’s a warning.
I learned that the hard way. When the church opportunity fell through, I pulled on every thread I cared about. I ran for local council, started a radio show, worked at Crossways, wrote and illustrated. Meanwhile my marriage was drifting under a run of heavy family pressures that we never properly faced. It was easier for both of us to escape into our causes and projects than to reconnect. The marriage didn’t survive.
A cause will take everything you’ve got and more. Nobody will give you permission to stop, and if they do, you’ll probably say you’ve got a world to save. I’m not a fan of the phrase work-life balance. The better question is an honest one:
Am I serving this cause, am I escaping into it, or is it serving my ego?
What boards can do differently
Give the leader the best tools: the right people, the right processes, and a board with both experience and heart. Then help them double down on what only they can do, and take everything off their plate that isn’t moving the mission forward.
At the same time, remember the director is a person with a family, needs and health of their own.
Practically, I’d build a wellness plan into the induction, with early warning signs agreed up front. Make sure the leader has their own supports in place, such as spiritual or professional supervision. It shouldn’t be up to the leader to collapse before someone asks whether they’re okay.
Most of all, listen. Get to know your director. Relationship is the key.
If you’re running on empty right now
You need somewhere safe to say “I need more support”, or even “I’m not coping”, without fearing you’ll lose the role. That’s tough when you’re the one everyone expects to be strong. Boards, make that space. Leaders, use it.
If you’re struggling right now, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Where to start
If you are the leader, take the leader wellbeing check. It is free and it takes a few minutes. If you are on a board, take the free five-minute quick check with your director and look at the last question together. And if you want to talk any of this through, book a free hour.